That first placement call can bring a rush of emotions.
There may be excitement, nerves, a hundred questions running through your mind — and, at the center of it all, a child stepping into a completely unfamiliar place during what may be one of the hardest days of their life.
You do not need to make the first night perfect.
You just want to make it feel a little softer.
Every child and every placement is different, but a calm, predictable environment can help reduce some of the uncertainty that comes with arriving somewhere new.
Here are a few simple ways to prepare your home — and yourself — for that very first night.
1. Keep the Arrival Quiet
The first few minutes do not need to be filled with introductions, questions, or excitement.
Keep the welcome calm and simple.
If possible, avoid having extended family or a crowd waiting to meet the child right away. There will be plenty of time for introductions later.
Start with the things they need to know most:
- Where is the bathroom?
- Where will they sleep?
- Where will you be if they need you?
- Where can they get a drink or something to eat?
You might also prepare a small “yes basket” in their room with a few basics such as bottled water, simple snacks, a toothbrush, and age-appropriate comfort items.
The goal is to give them a few things they can access without having to wonder whether they are allowed to ask.
2. Take the Pressure Off Mealtime
The first evening probably is not the time to worry about creating the perfect family dinner.
Keep food simple and familiar when you can.
Offer a few choices rather than asking too many questions. Something as ordinary as toast, cereal, macaroni and cheese, or another familiar food can feel reassuring when everything else around them is new.
And remember — conversation does not have to happen immediately.
Some children may want to talk.
Others may want quiet.
Both are okay.
Follow their lead as much as you can.
3. Make the Bedroom Feel Understandable
A new bedroom may look welcoming to you and still feel completely unfamiliar to a child.
Show them how things work.
Where are the pajamas?
Where can they put their belongings?
Which light can stay on?
Where is the bathroom again?
If there are household rules or safety procedures they need to know, explain them simply and without overwhelming them.
A nightlight, soft blanket, stuffed animal, or other comfort item may also help the room feel a little less strange.
Small things can matter on a night when almost everything feels new.
4. Keep Bedtime Simple and Predictable
For many children, bedtime may be when the quiet finally catches up with them.
That does not mean you need to have a deep conversation about everything that has happened.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can offer is a simple routine:
Brush teeth.
Wash up.
Put on pajamas.
Choose a quiet activity.
Read a story.
Say goodnight.
Predictability can be comforting when the rest of life feels unpredictable.
And sometimes a story gives a child a way to see their feelings without having to explain them.
That Is Why I Wrote Bubba
When I created Bubba’s First Night, I wanted to tell a very small story about a very big moment.
Bubba is a little bear entering foster care and spending his first night in a new home.
He is unsure.
He misses what he knows.
He notices unfamiliar sounds and unfamiliar things.
And he learns, little by little, that he does not have to understand everything tonight.
He only has to make it through this one night.
The story does not try to convince children that everything is suddenly wonderful.
It simply gives them a character who understands that being scared, confused, sad, quiet, or unsure can all belong in the same story.
Come Meet Bubba — Free on Kindle October 9–11
To help more families, foster parents, CASAs, teachers, and caregivers discover Bubba, Bubba’s First Night will be available FREE on Kindle from Friday, October 9 through Sunday, October 11.
Promotion available for a limited time through Amazon Kindle.
Before You Go — Take a Little Bubba With You
If Bubba’s story speaks to you, I would love to stay connected.
Join the Steady Heart Studio email list and I’ll send you a free Bubba resource you can use with the children in your life.
You’ll also be the first to hear about new Bubba stories, children’s resources, upcoming releases, and occasional freebies from Steady Heart Studio.
No constant emails. No clutter.
Just stories and resources created with a lot of heart for children navigating some very big things.
— Sheradun Strand
Steady Heart Studio
About Sheradun Strand
Sheradun Strand writes gentle, child-centered stories and practical resources for children and the grown-ups walking beside them. Through Steady Heart Studio, her books help children navigate hard changes, big feelings, and the moments that can be difficult to put into words.
Explore all Steady Heart Studio books · Free resources & refills